Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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