So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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