So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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