i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Holy sore nipples Batman
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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