One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
