and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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