so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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