Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
