so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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