had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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