Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
