I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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