Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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