I want to make a zoo with you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I see more hoeing in ur future
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