worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
