I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ugly people sure do ruin things
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
