I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
