We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
