i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize