it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
