this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
