Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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