dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
