My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
