I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
