dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
