youre lurking in front of me
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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