it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
