he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
