What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
it's great music for shaving your balls
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The uberlube is also flammable
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
