We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
