i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
