ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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