I want to have your abortion
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
No stitches, just platelets and will power
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
