worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize
