you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So many bounce houses so little time
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
