Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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