absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
