last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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