never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
