That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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