Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
