Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
No subtext here. People are naked.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Also, beer. Big fan.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
