Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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