The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
