Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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