smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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