hotel room ftw
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
