We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
