You made me cry and you don't even care
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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