he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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