also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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