honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
