Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
