Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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