it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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