Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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