I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
