if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
