okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
