Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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