The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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